


do you feel alive [when you're with me]?

by sandpapersnowman



Category: Alien Series, Alien: Covenant
Genre: Bad Flirting, Comfort, F/M, Graphic Description, Implied Relationships, Medical Trauma, Phobos Test, Robot Feels, Robot/Human Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-26 22:43:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20937962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandpapersnowman/pseuds/sandpapersnowman
Summary: Phobos is the most efficient way of testing a potential crew's nerves, and requires no more resources than two small rooms and a single synth to run the test.Getting a crash course in every nightmare the human race has ever had? Nobody is prepared for that."What was your least favorite part of the Phobos test?" Walter asks suddenly. His voice is lower than it strictly needs to be, like he only intends for her to hear despite it being the same thing everyone else in the cockpit is talking about.





	do you feel alive [when you're with me]?

**Author's Note:**

> title from blaqk audio's [Ceremonial](https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/blaqkaudio/ceremonialburstintostars.html) bc i'm on another Kick
> 
> the majority of this was actually written around the same time the Phobos short film came out, i just never got around to polishing it up and publishing it!!! Whoops

It's been protocol for years now; Phobos is the most efficient way of testing a potential crew's nerves, and requires no more resources than two small rooms and a single synth to run the test.

NDAs are signed, of course, to prevent people from coming in prepared and trying to cheat the test, but word always gets out. Spiders, heights, snakes — basic fears, everyone expects those.

The gore, though? The experience of watching a human body being torn apart in a medical snuff film, the shock of seeing maggots and ooze pour out of flesh in colors that skin and muscle shouldn't be? Watching things press through a human body, be it a blade or rusted nail or foreign bodies pushing out from under the skin? Getting a crash course in every nightmare the human race has ever had, amplified and pushed directly into their eyes with accompanying physical discomfort courtesy of the testing room?

Nobody is prepared for that. Nobody wants to talk about it after, either, happier to try to forget it.

NDA expires after they're all onboard, and off Earth.

Spending a day on the ship doing final prep before hypersleep, Phobos, naturally, gets discussed.

"We all did Phobos testing, right?" Tennessee asks first. He's about eight fingers into the nice bottle of whiskey Jake brought for celebrating, though you'd only know it by the color in his cheeks.

There's scattered uncomfortable laughter, from everyone on the alpha team but Walter and Daniels.

"Yeah," Jake says, for all of them. "Fuck that."

More scattered laughter.

"It wasn't _that_ bad," Daniels says. "Not _fun_, but, y'know."

"Fuck you too, then," Faris laughs. "That shit gave me nightmares for _days_."

The conversation expands, everyone talking about what the worst parts were for them, but Daniels doesn't participate, nor does Walter.

"You probably didn't mind, huh?" she asks him, quietly. "Synthetic and all."

"I'm not supposed to, no. I understand why they were made uncomfortable even if it doesn't elicit the same reactions for me."

Daniels scoffs. She knows there's more to him than he claims; despite all the robot talk and formal wording, she knows he _cares_, personally, about things. He cares about the greenhouse.

He cares about her, maybe.

"What _does_ elicit a reaction from you, huh?"

Maybe she's a few too many fingers into that bottle too. She mentally smacks herself for it, because even if Jake is aware of her little crush on him and her curiosity about him, she doesn't need to be thinking about it so casually. She'll get herself in trouble for it sooner than later, and Jake teases her enough as her understanding, similarly synth-sympathetic spouse; she doesn’t need shit from the rest of the crew.

Walter must have noticed her judging herself for what she’s said, whether he recognizes why or not, and just smiles at her instead of answering.

She's read the rundown on Walter units, they all did, but the operating manual doesn't exactly have a chapter on _how to get your Walter unit to hit on you_.

"What was your least favorite part of the Phobos test?" he asks suddenly. His voice is lower than it strictly needs to be, like he only intends for her to hear despite it being the same thing everyone else in the cockpit is talking about.

Truthfully? The synth vivisections bothered her more than anything else. She knows that the rest of the medical footage was taken from humans who consented, or donated their remains to science, but synthetics aren't even considered _able_ to consent or not. They're treated like objects, despite having full pain spectrum reactions and higher sensory sensitivity than humans. Some earlier models, like the infamous custom David that went missing when Weyland himself passed, even had programming that was intentionally close to human emotion, enough to mimic it if prompted.

"I don't know," she lies. "No need to worry about it unless it shows up on Origae-6, right?"

He nods.

"I'm still sorry you had to go through it," he says. "I imagine it tends to be traumatizing."

Daniels shrugs.

"It does what it’s supposed to. If someone can’t handle worst case scenario, they shouldn’t be on this kind of mission.”

“Of course. I do wonder if Phobos brings some people unnecessary paranoia about the mission, though.”

A thought tickles the back of her mind; is _he_ upset by something from the testing?

“What was your least favorite part?” she asks him back.

Walter smiles wryly at her.

“I wouldn’t say I had any preference for any of it,” he jokes, and it gets a little laugh out of her, too. “But the… Synthetic things, I think, came close to bothering me.”

There’s a nervousness in his voice like he thinks he’d be in trouble for admitting any reaction. Hell, he _could_ get in trouble for it, but he’s trusting her with that small secret.

Her hand slides across the small space between them and rests gently on his forearm.

“Yeah,” she agrees. “I’m sorry they made you see that.”

In a surprisingly human move, his other hand comes to lay over hers. His fingers aren’t cold, but not warm — a pleasant cool over her knuckles with a pressure that’s just as soft but comfortingly _there_ as her own touch.

“It’s okay,” he insists, “but thank you.”

A quiet, smiling moment passes between them before Tennessee knocks something over with a _bang_ and startles them out of it.

So much for squashing that crush.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm also on tumblr as [sandpapersnowman](sandpapersnowman.tumblr.com), and discord as lyric/ille#8582! hmu!


End file.
